Become A Cowboy For The Day (Bucket List #85)

Kroombit Cattle Station, Queensland, Australia • July 2010 • Length of Read: 4 Minutes

Included in the OZ Experience Bus Pass that Fraser and myself were using to travel up the East Coast of Australia, was an overnight stop at a cattle station in Kroombit. Somewhere between Hervey Bay and Rockhampton our driver had taken a slip-road off the main highway and with the Outback horror film Wolf Creek playing on the T.V up front we were now bursting along dirt tracks towards a vast expanse of nothingness. In such a desolate environment thoughts begin to creep into one's mind of nightmare-ish scenarios but thankfully we were in the company of a top Londoner called David and two class Irish girls in Rhiannon and Charlotte to keep the mood light.

As the mid-day sun shone high in the sky our bus pulled into the entrance of the ranch where we would be making kip for the night. A couple of years back some sharp farmers had the lucrative idea of converting their outhouses into bunks for backpackers wishing to 'live the outback dream' and 'feel the cowboy vibes', and now they entertain coach-loads of tourists with activities such as horse riding, clay pigeon shooting, and quad biking. What better an opportunity therefore to tick item #85 off the bucket list: Become a Cowboy for the Day.

We were welcomed with open arms by the staff and immediately treated to a hearty lunch of spit-roasted pork before being given access to the whole ranch for the afternoon. A bunch of us decided to go go for a wander up the hill to the back of the farm and after a nice half-hour stroll were greeted with a fantastic panorama of the barren surroundings. At the summit was a signpost that gave the distances and directions to a number of different capital cities around the globe - Fraser and myself were approximately 9,800 miles from home!

Turning to head back down we noticed that one of the other girls who had joined us was having extreme difficulty managing her footing across the rocks and loose impediments that littered the path. Soon to garner the nickname 'Unbalanced Girl' for the rest of her Aussie trip, Miram explained to us with a wry grin that when her mother accidentally dropped her on her head as a child she lost all sense of stability and to this day still finds it difficult to manoeuvre her way on unfirm terrain.

This out-of-the-blue statement caused each member of the group to react in one of two ways, neither very sympathetic. Charlotte, Fraser and myself immediately burst out into hysterical hyena laughter whilst Rhiannon and David just stood there with frozen expressions of perplexity on their faces. A couple of long seconds passed before it became quite apparent however that this wasn't a joke and she was being completely serious. Using all our strength we managed to regain enough composure to help her slowly back down to camp where we'd been told to rendezvous at 4pm, but the sniggering failed to subside until a good while later.... at which time we were standing in the middle of a pen, swinging lassos, and facing a trip of pissed-off goats.

Our first step to becoming fully-fledged cowboys and cowgirls was to learn how to tame farmyard animals and having been placed into teams of three we were pit against the clock with the challenge of 'goat herding'. The goal was simple: restrain it by its horns, flip it on its side, then pretend to mark it with a cold branding iron. My duty was as chief lasso thrower, but despite having consumed dozens of hours of Western movies found the technique a little harder than imagined, not being aided in the slightest by the fact the goats had decided at this moment to race around the pen like it were some form of NASCAR circuit. After up-teen failed attempts I eventually managed to target one of the slower, fatter, members of the now mosh-pitting mammals, and bringing it to its knees we managed to get the animal branded in a not so brilliant time; by which I mean we finished dead last!

As the light started to fade we headed back to the main part of the ranch where we were then given our second initiation: learning to crack a whip. I turned out to be a dab hand and managed to redeem myself slightly in breaking the sound barrier, but this moment of glory was soon to be shaken out by way of a daunting mechanical bull. Yee Haw!

Wanting to live up to their cowboy reputation, the ranch-hands insisted that the bull be set to the most difficult level - 6 seconds being the time to aim for and keeping in line with that target of the professional rodeo clowns. Well let me tell you, I don't think that even cumulatively our group of students would have reached that target. As the bull lurched into life, one-by-one we flew straight off the front of the machine as the bull twisted and turned like it was performing a rhythmic gymnastic routine; the boys each suffering nasty knocks in the 'cojones' department for their efforts.

The only way any real cowboy would numb such pain is with liqueur so grabbing some beers at the make-shift tiki bar we huddled around the wooden tables and ended up entering into a random game of al-fresco strip poker; our take on the traditional closing Mexican stand-off. I'd say that in our own individual ways we'd each earned our spurs that day and were able to leave the next morning with stomachs full of 'Cowboy Caviar' (their name for beans on toast) and cowboy hats firmly on our heads.

Useful Links:

Cattle Station: http://kroombit.com.au/

How To Develop A Million Dollar Mouthpiece

Dale Carnegie once wrote that “the ability to assemble one’s thoughts and to speak on the spur of the moment is even more important, in some ways, than the ability to speak only after lengthy and laborious preparation.”

And I agree.

Whether you are attending an interview for a new job; having to stand-in and give a presentation for a colleague who has gone off sick, providing a team with a status update as to how the current work schedule is progressing; or simply making a toast at a friend’s party, there are countless scenarios once can face in both their career and personal life that will require an off-the-cuff monologue. In a world where important decisions are now made in team meetings rather than by one head honcho, and in which people are required to be contactable 24/7 for any urgent matters (I mean God forbid that report isn’t handed in at 9am tomorrow! The world might implode), being able to speedily gather our thoughts and converse them fluently and succinctly serves to produce incredible results. It truly is a skill that will make you stand out from the crowd, gain the attention of others, and open doors to bigger and brighter things…

But the usual complaints of “oh, he’s got the gift of the gab”, or “she can talk her way out of anything” still flutter about with envy like nothing can be done to change such ‘talents’. As I said above though, impromptu speaking is a ‘skill’, and like all ‘skills’ it can be leant, built upon, and grown. Here are my five tips to start training yourself in this fine art and develop what some would describe as a ‘Million Dollar Mouthpiece’:

• Anticipate Scenarios In Which You May Be Required To Speak Up
  • If you are in a meeting and there is the possibility that you might be called upon to say a few words, run through your head how you would respond to such request. Making yourself consciously aware of these potential situations will eliminate the startled shock and probable stuttering that comes with trying to comprehend a question whilst simultaneously forming an answer.
• Speak from Within
  • The chances are that if you do have to give an impromptu talk in work or at a social event you will have at least some element knowledge on the subject matter in question. Your Boss isn't just going to turn around and start quizzing you on sixteenth century Elizabethan embroidery. Either way, people’s ‘Bullshit detectors’ are pretty damn good nowadays so don’t go making stuff up. Stick to speaking about what you know, no matter how basic the restraints, using examples to illustrate your points and give them more clarity.
• Don’t Waffle.
  • Be succinct and to the point. Try to avoid long-winded explanations and sentences that will most likely lead you off-track. You’re not doing a 30 minute key note speech here and it’s best to save your free association censor-less drawl for the psychiatrist’s chair. Structure your talk around two of three key points and ensure that you never deviate too far from these core elements.
• Be Dynamic
  • Nothing will switch an audience off faster than a speaker who looks bored by their own topic. Charge yourself up and express passion and drive through your words and actions. This will both loosen yourself into the talk more easily and aid in getting your points across more fluidly. If appropriate, also consider using props or audience participation to liven up the room.
• Practice
  • Experience breeds competence which breeds confidence. Simply, the more you give impromptu talks the more comfortable you will become in your ability.
  • A little tale I read which brings out the sheer power of this final point comes ironically from none other than the greatest silent film star to ever have lived. Every night for almost two years, Charlie Chaplin would immerse himself in a game of wits with his peers Douglas Fairbanks and Mary Pickford (then husband and wife). They would each write random subject headings on strips of paper and fold them up into a bowl, rather like a game of charades. Each would then take it in turns to draw a topic and immediately start talking about it for the next 60 seconds. If they stuttered it was game over; if they repeated themselves it was game over; and if they paused for too long it was game over. Fairbanks once wrote in a magazine piece that to them “it was more than a game. It was practice in that most difficult of all speaking arts – thinking on one’s feet… We are learning to assemble our knowledge and thoughts on any topic at a moment’s notice.”

Once too timid and shy to even dictate passages from a textbook in the school classroom, through reading up on the art of speaking, conversing with myriad strangers through business and travel, and implementing the 5 points above, I am now able to take advantages of opportunities I would once have run a country mile.

From creating ad-lib responses during a Q&A session in London’s Savoy Hotel to a packed room of high net-worth individuals, to giving a presentation on the benefit of University Exchange Programmes to an entire lecture hall of business students, my ability to think on my feet has provided some fantastic growth opportunities and introduced me to some amazing people I would otherwise have never met.

What could crushing that next speech or presentation do for your life?

Snorkel The Great Barrier Reef (Bucket List #110)

Airlie Beach, Queensland, Australia • July 2010 • Length of Read: 3 Minutes

The Great Barrier Reef – one of the true wonders of the natural world. Situated in the Coral Sea off Australia’s East Coast it is the world’s biggest single structure made by living organisms and can be seen from outer space. Airlie Beach is the best location from which to go out and explore the Whitsunday Islands and the marine life that surrounds them. Many of the other backpackers that we had befriended had booked 3 day, 2 night party boat cruises by which to experience this, but due to our lavish adrenaline junkie lifestyle of the prior week, Fry and myself were now definitely shoe-stringing our way up the remainder of the coast. We therefore opted for one of the cheaper day trips provided by Ocean Rafting.

The combination of staying in a party town and the 2010 Word Cup being televised into the early hours of the morning meant that we inevitably arrived at the dock hungover and under slept. Here we did our best to appear sociable to our fellow seamen and the Ocean Rafting staff, a laid-back bunch of guys and girls who would be revealing the mysteries of the reef. Split into three different rafts, we were fortunate enough to be with the captain who was assisted by one of the best looking woman I had ever seen. Never have I been so stuck for words in my life and to this day Fry and myself still reminisce about this beauty who has become known is fables as 'Girl On Boat' (In the five years since, only the German abs instructor I had when living in Maastricht has come close to knocking her from this pedestal).

Now just to make it through the day without being sea sick.

Whereas the larger vesels take a day or so to reach the reef, Ocean Rafting’s speedboat could make the trip in just a couple of hours. Clinging on for dear life as we bounced over the choppy waves we were rewarded with a myriad of colours bursting through the crystal clear water. Once at a suitable spot the driver cut the engine, dropped the anchor, and issued us with flippers, masks and snorkels. We were then given a briefing to respect the coral, not to damage it, and not to swim too far away from the boat. Sounds simple enough.

Dipping my head underwater I was met by one of the most beautiful scenes in the world. As I floated serenely along the marine life came alive, with fish meandering among the dancing ployps. After about 20 minutes I was only just starting to take in the sheer wonder of this view when  my goggles began filling up with water. Rising to the surface I accidentally knocked some of the coral with my flippers – oops! Strike 1.

It soon got its own back however when, at the second dive spot, I accidentally grazed some of it with my knee and found that it could actually rip through one's skin like sharpened blade. I doggy paddled my way straight back to the boat where the captain looked at me with a “you idiot” smile that he had probably mastered over the years at the job. Having cleaned and dressed the would, I sat there whilst the remaining tourists came back on board, squinting their noses at my now sanguine beach towel.

We docked at Whitehaven Beach for lunch on sands consisting of 98% pure silica which made it a truly white coloured haven. After that it was a small hike of the island to take in the fauna and wildlife before heading back to the boat for our journey back to shore. On the way back we met up with the other two rafts that had split from us in the morning and to top of the day the staff showed us their driving skills by performing doughnuts around each other. The team managed to squeeze so much enjoyment out of just one day at sea and I would thoroughly recommend checking them out if you are ever wanting to tick ‘Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef’ off your own bucket list whilst not breaking the bank.

Useful Links:

http://www.oceanrafting.com.au/

http://www.whitehavenbeach.com.au/sites/default.asp

White Water Rafting (Bucket List #59)

Tully River, Queensland, Australia • July 2010 • Length of Read: 3 Minutes

Fraser, Mary and myself crowded into the back of the mini bus as it screeched out of the hostel car park and down the Bruce Highway. Still on a 'high' from the previous day's skydive we would now be hurling our bodies down the rapids of the Tully River in a little inflatable dinghy. It was time for some white water rafting.

Raging Thunder, the company through which we had booked, offered two packages: ‘Normal’ for AUS$185 or ‘Xtreme’ for AUS$215. Both packages included accommodation transfers, 5 hours of rafting, lunch and tuition; however the Xtreme package also guaranteed a smaller group, more thrilling paths through the rapids, and extra challenges such as rock jumping, rapid swimming and raft surfing. In true Epic Bucket List style we of course opted for the latter.

On the drive we were divided into groups of six and kitted up with Jesus style sandals, life vests, wetsuits and paddles. As bad luck would have it the three of us were unfortunately paired with a trio of 'mature' crew mates, who upon seeing our enthusiasm and fearlessness were evidently regretting not having opted for the cheaper package. Our cox for the day was a lovely Spanish fellow and following a quick safety brief he steered the raft out into the current. It was time to soak up the white waters.

Off we set, paddling aggressively and screaming “EXTREME!!” at 30 second intervals… well half of our raft’s passengers anyway. The rapids were a lot faster than I expected and it took some careful balancing and positioning simply to avoid falling into the choppy waves that persisted on crashing over the sides of the raft and soaking us through. One of the elderly women was evidently not happy with this and kept complaining that her hair was getting wet. This isn't meant to be a trip down an amusement park's 'lazy river' darling!

When this bickering failed to cease within the next half an hour the Spaniard coined a secret plan by which to end it for good: a deliberate capsizing. When we reached a quiet point in the river he suddenly shifted his weight in a way that flipped the raft 180 degrees and sent us all flying overboard. I was in hysterics watching this woman cling on for dear life to the now inverted vessel, with no hope in hell of saving that shaggy barnet.

After righting ourselves we continued the journey, quietly sliding along the ribbon of water that weaved its way through the dense foliage overhanging each bank.  This eventually broke into a clearing that was home to a massive tower of rocks and the Spaniard docked the raft to let us test out diving skills. Leaping from the platform with screams of 'EXTREME' echoing around I hung  for an age before crashing ungracefully into what felt like a concrete wall of water. My attempt at some Tom Daley finesse had clearly not paid off and what was originally meant to be a classy swan dive turned into an uncontrollable mid-air tumble whose crescendo was a belly-flop splash into the pool below.

...never mind, I would soon get a chance to redeem myself...

For the second ‘Xtreme challenge’ we had to make our own way down a mini waterfall without the use of the raft. The Spaniard again chucked us out, this time with the warning: "hold your breath so as not to swallow any water and let the current do the rest. Do not try and swim up to the surface, it will not work!"

Letting go of the raft I was immediately dragged under by the current and for the next twenty seconds found myself fighting the urge to start paddling as I was flung down the rapids in a coffin-position: "please don't let this be my funeral" the untimely phrase repeating in my head.

After twenty of the longest seconds I was rewarded with the sweet sweet taste of fresh air; my life-vest having served its purpose. The group members popped up behind one by one and we gathered to watch the Spaniard expertly weave the dinghy down through the minefield of rocks we ha just traversed. Stroking our paddles some more then brought us to the end of our rafting adventure: tired, sunburnt, and drenched. Despite being overpriced, this adrenaline fuelled day on the Cassowary Coast of Queensland was a fantastic experience, and one that if you happen to have some reserves in the travel budget I would thoroughly recommend.

Raging Thunder Adventures - http://www.ragingthunder.com.au/

Climb A Mountain (Bucket List #54)

Ben Nevis, Scotland, UK • July 2011 • Length of Read: 2 Minutes

Living in Scotland, there is not exactly a shortage of hills to climb; with 282 peaks that clear 3000ft. Collectively these are known as the Munros, so named after the gentleman who first produced such list, and since this is the Epic Bucket List there really only was one option to choose.

At 4,409ft, Ben Nevis is the highest mountain in the British Isles, attracts an estimated 100,000 ascents a year, and is only a three hour drive from my front door. Setting off at the crack of dawn on a beautiful Saturday morning, Twiggy, Ally and myself stocked up on rations at the local supermarket before hopping in the Honda for a winding journey north along country roads that connect Glasgow to Fort William.

Beinn Nibheis, as the mountain is known in Scottish Gaelic, may be the highest mountain in the country, but it is certainly not the most challenging. A nice pony path runs up its east side which makes the climb accessible to those of all mountaineering standards who have a moderate fitness level; the ice axes and crampons could be left at home. We arrived around noon; put on our gear; hitched up our bags; and set off after a strategic toilet break. The climb was wonderful and the Scottish weather brought with it the need for sunscreen and plenty of fluids. Despite ascending in the height of summer however, as we approached the top patches of snow were still visible; a reminder of the altitude we had reached. On went the gloves and woolly hat and as our competitive spirit took over we raced the last couple of hundred yards to the cairn that signified the completion of our summit. It was victory for Crobs!

Once we had regained our breath it was time to break out the packed lunches and have the highest altitude picnic available in Britain. Whilst tucking into our sandwiches a woman appeared dressed as a banana and tried to warn us of the environmental impact that littered fruit is having on the world. At first we laughed at the stupidity of her claims, but now realise that a banana skin takes two whole years to fully bio-degrade and is a visual pollutant, if nothing else, to the unmatched scenery that surrounded us. A lovely day out in a truly magnificent part of the world that makes me proud to say I'm Scottish.